My name is Mystal, my mom is teaching me on how to write my whole name, as a child it is hard for me to write my name and know the spaces between each name, I was awakened by the voice of my dad telling me ‘You should know the space between your name, middle initial and surname’.
I grew up with a complete family, my dad has a daughter from another woman and the same thing with my mom, she has a daughter with another man, but everything was past and all of us live in one roof.
I have a loud voice, so every morning my dad always asks me to lower my voice because the neighbor might be awake, and he will get mad when my mom accidentally clang the pan whenever she is cooking so the house is like a cathedral.
As a girl, I understand the reason for his strictness. He doesn’t allow me to wear sleeveless and short when going outside, not only to me but also to my mom. I am not allowed to stay outside the dark. He doesn’t want us to have a cellphone, I remember my sister picked up a phone somebody left it and never come back. When my dad saw the phone he keeps and never gives it back to my sister.
One day, I ask my mom, ‘mom, why dad is so silent and ignoring us?’ she didn’t answer me, maybe she thought I wouldn’t understand everything because I am just a child, but I know my mom is sad and wanted to cry because something happened between them.
Now, I am old enough to understand everything but still, I don’t understand some of the ways my father acts toward his immediate family which is us. Whenever my dad has no money he will shut up, he will not talk to everyone except outside to his immediate family. And I don’t know the why, but what I know he doesn’t have money whenever his ignoring us.
I don’t have a childhood memory being with my dad going to the mall or everywhere just to have fun. Usually, it is with my siblings and my mom. He doesn’t want to leave the house whenever we invited him. Even we lie and it is all-expense-paid trip, still no.
But sometimes he will attend some special occasion. I never saw him walking holding hands with my mom or being sweet with her. Maybe he is not that type of person. But I don’t understand in gathering he will not sit with our table instead he will sit with another table. I remember we have a special occasion in our house, relatives are there, lots of food everyone is happy. My dad will not allow us to get the food first, he will say ‘let them go first’ so I did. He doesn’t eat until everyone eats, sometimes he doesn’t eat so my mom will save one plate for my dad but he didn’t see my mom’s effort, so I tried to save something for him too, sadly he got mad telling me, ‘That’s why nothing left for them because you keep everything’, so I put it back, he didn’t understand It is for him.
He doesn’t allow me to play with other kids, he saw me and say ‘don’t join them in their game’ and he saw me touching others phone telling me ‘you might wreck it, give it back to them’
One night, my mom and dad arguing and I’m just sad because my dad kicks out my sister. Because my sister is not his real daughter and he is mad to my mom, so all his anger goes to my sister to hurt my mom.
One day, they both gave up and decided to separate. I went with my mom. My sister is the one who took care of us. My mom did not get any support from my dad not unless she will ask for me but not always. Year past and I think my dad and mom are in good terms but they decided to have a separate house. Still, my mom doesn’t have any financial support. Everything quite well.
I don’t care what people say but people do not respect what the couple decision. Worst is my dad is not doing anything to get anything right. He will show to everyone that everything is fine but the truth is always hidden.